Title: THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE ON THE RUN
Director: Tim Hill
Starring: Tom Kenny, Awkwafina, Matt Berry, Snoop Dogg, Bill Fagerbakke, Clancy Brown, Tiffany Haddish, Carolyn Lawrence, Mr. Lawrence, Keanu Reeves, Danny Trejo, and Reggie Watts
Movie length: 1 hour 31 minutes
Are you ready for a retcon kids? Aye aye captain. Are you ready to forget everything you know and love about the character and the show? Aye aye captain. Well who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Who? SpongeBob SquarePants. Who? SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob something pants. That’s right this is my review of the brand new SpongeBob movie, THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE ON THE RUN.
Anyway on to the review, insert bubble effects. I am a big SpongeBob fan and have been since the very beginning. It does a full 180 retcon of everything you know about SpongeBob and the SpongeBob lore. Sure the basic principles are there, but it relies heavily on SpongeBob, and anybody who has ever seen a SpongeBob episode knows that each character had a very crucial role to play, it’s not all about Patrick it’s not all about Sandy, Sure their episodes that might focus on a certain character but still supporting characters are just as important.
Spoiler alert Plankton actually steals the Krabby Patty secret formula, you know the formula that he has been chasing after since the series began, and decides he doesn’t want it without SpongeBob, because that makes sense? Also when Mr. Krabs hands over the secret formula to Plankton because SpongeBob is no longer there to make Krabby Patties? SpongeBob was gone before what makes this time any different? Because SpongeBob wasn’t there Mr. Krabs turns into this cringy Creepypasta. I never thought we would have Creepypasta in a SpongeBob movie but I guess the creators were trying to make each scene memeable.
Keanu Reeves is in this movie but I feel like they just put him in this movie for the sake of having Keanu Reeves in the movie. He is mainly there just to keep the movie along and to keep it in focus, or should I say keep that main characters in focus. Unlike the original movie where they got help and motivation from the princess of Poseidon but I guess since it’s a different Poseidon then the princess doesn’t exist here either.
Since we’re nearing the end of my review let’s talk about the end of this movie. I believe we are all aware of the American Pie movie, and how the band camp girl in the movie would often say one time at band camp. Well they do a similar thing here only it wasn’t a call back it was just each character decides to take a five-minute break and talk about how they met SpongeBob in this movie universe not how they actually met.
It was just to promote the upcoming TV show. You met SpongeBob at camp too? Let me tell you my story of how I met SpongeBob at camp. It made the movie drag on at a snail’s pace (pun intended) it also made the movie feel a lot longer than it actually is.
One last thing that was very strange in my opinion is how the movie just went on hold and turns into an MTV music video with a surprise guest that doesn’t contribute to the story in any way. Just out of nowhere hey I’m a celebrity remember me I’m here to do a song hit It. All right I’m done you will never see me again in this movie. Now don’t get me wrong SpongeBob is not singing, the musical guest is doing all the singing SpongeBob is just in the background like an extra.
Which seems very odd it doesn’t move the plot along in any way, unlike David Hasselhoff in the first SpongeBob movie, he actually helped them. This time it almost like he just dropped by the set and said hey I want to shoot a music video in the middle of your movie and they were like okay. All right back to the movie, seems very unnecessary and poorly done in my opinion.
In conclusion the movie seems like an elongated episode of the show. The retcon or the complete redesign of all the characters seemed very off-putting and an insult to real SpongeBob fans.
It also had a lot of Creepypasta and cringe-worthy scenes that you can’t unsee. On a positive side the sound mixing and the music is the saving grace of this movie, they made this movie a lot better than what it actually is. I had people coming in to see what I’m watching because they said, “whatever you are watching has a great soundtrack.”
I give this movie a C minus for canary.
THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE ON THE RUN is now streaming on Paramount Plus.
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